[great article link at the bottom of this post!]
Until recently, I lived in the most “unchurched” region of the country.
Now apparently, that designation has switched (very slightly) from the Northwest part of our country to the Northeast (though really “church” hasn’t been popular in either region for years). But, whether we are first in “lack of churchiness” or second, if there is one thing I know it is living in a post-Christian religion environment.
Which is why it interested me to read several articles recently that seemed to indicate what many of us have thought for years, that the rest of the country is catching up to us… in godlessness, that is. [see “The End of Christian America” and “The Coming Evangelical Collapse”]
Recent studies find that American people are exiting the Christian religion in greater numbers than ever. Be it evangelical, mainline, etc, America is losing it’s religion.
So what does this mean? Well, I suppose that depends on who you ask. Many people think that it isn’t exactly ideal. I have heard many well-meaning preachers proclaim it as the beginning of the end; the ushering in of Armageddon. Ahhh, you premillenialist friends are always looking for the signs of the end, aren’t you? =)
But, it isn’t among just preachers. There is panic among many everyday Christians. There is fear that what has been the driving force of morality in this country is going to erode and leave their children depraved and godless. I have sat in a pew next to many parents who feel this tension all too keenly. Even in Seattle (where we have a several decade head start in living in this environment) the church (generally), is characterized by great fear in this arena. It seems as though this decline in the Christian religion–at least in the form we are accustomed to–can only be a bad thing.
Now, before going any further, I’d like you to know that I understand this fear. I think I understand why many of my brothers and sisters, whom I love, feel this way. It is indeed scary to see the moral/religious fiber of your country shaken. I can sympathize with this uncertainty.
However, I think our fear may be causing us to behave strangely. If you read this blog, you know that I often call-out the apparent un-Christlikeness of the church. In doing so, I am not meaning to say that I don’t believe in Jesus. I do. I believe Jesus has opened the fullest and most meaningful way of life for all people. I want more people to experience this life, not less. And, I am not trying to say I don’t believe in the church. Christians don’t necessarily have bad intentions. I simply think we need to be very careful and think extremely critically about our methods of communicating a message. Too often, the methods have become the message. Too easily we believe that we should use any means necessary to convey our point and “the ends justify the means” should never be the attitude of Christ’s people. Especially as it relates to the fear of “losing our Christian nation.”
Fear of the end of Christian America.
Because of this fear, we have seen (I believe) many Christians behaving in ways that do not show love. Whether it is the polarizing political attempt to legislate Christianity, the stereotyping generality of protest signs or simply the attempt to shame those who are perceived as the danger through our bumperstickers, t-shirts and slogans.
Because of fear we have reacted poorly.
But, perhaps, we do not need to fear this decline so much as we have thought. Maybe what we feel we need to protect doesn’t need protected at all. Maybe, the cause of Christ could be advanced in a much more meaningful way if what we are scared to lose was really to disappear.
You see, living in Seattle, I have heard for as long as I can remember about how non-churched this region is. I grew up knowing that I was among less than 10% of my local population that attended any type of church each week. I heard these statistics as a teenager, while in Bible college and beyond in ministry. I was taught that I was the only beacon of religion in a depraved land.
But, as I’ve hung out with people, got to know them and seen many of them make decisions to follow the life and example of Jesus with their lives authentically, I have learned that these statistics are a bit misleading. The reality of my interaction with people in this “godless” land is not as dire as I had been made to believe. In fact, while we may be declining in religious fervor, I have found people here to be more spiritually open to discussion than ever before.
Almost no one that I meet anymore is unwilling to have a spiritual discussion with me, as long as it is honest and not aimed at “converting” them. And though this seems strange to some of you, I actually think that the message of Jesus is finding more traction in this culture that we fear than in the one we felt comfortable in previously. It is almost as if the dismantling of the “civic religion of Christianity” is helping people to rediscover the Jesus behind this cultural influence.
Of course we all know people that would label themselves “Christian” though they make no attempt to follow and model the life of Jesus. This country, since its beginning, has been labeled by the same generic label, “Christian.” It has become a cultural and national label rather than an affiliation with the personhood of Jesus. This faux Christianity, I contend, has actually made it much more difficult to lead people to authentic relationship with Jesus. And to see it decline, in some odd sense (to some of you) gives me great hope for the future.
I believe we live in the greatest moment for followers of Jesus in the history of our world (and country). I believe that this decline is preparing the soil (and has already) for a much deeper commitment to Jesus in the hearts of people than we have seen in our lifetimes. It is not a day for fear, but for great expectation. It is a great day to be a follower of Jesus!
I have included a link below to a blog by Greg Boyd. His excellent blog lays out several reasons not to fear this decline. Hopefully, it will be very helpful to some of you.
“Don’t Weep for the Demise of American Christianity”
But he also has two excellent books on this subject. The second of which just came out last week and is fantastic. Both of these books should be required reading for Christians in America. If you haven’t read them, please consider picking up a copy this week.
Tomorrow is the annual “Day of Silence.” Many high school students will choose to “not talk” during the day tomorrow in order to show their solidarity with their many peers that are wrestling with LGBT issues in loneliness and fear.
As a follower of Christ, my primary belief is not in the Bible. My faith is in Jesus. I follow him, not a book. However, I choose to read that book because of my belief in Him. And when it comes to reading that book, I do so through the “lense” of Jesus. I base all of my theology and understanding of God on the person of Jesus, and through that filter I read the rest of the book. Which, of course, means that I read those very troubling Old Testament passages through how God has been revealed in Jesus as well.
“The Myth of A Christian Nation”
Oh well, apparently my lot in life is to get involved in the dirty, messy and controversial subjects. So, let’s jump right into the final question for this week, which almost gave me a coronary attack as I read it knowing I’d have to answer it! Thanks everybody… Let’s just get back to asking questions that are “safe,” huh? LOL.
So what does the bible teach us about dating? Very little. In fact, the Bible doesn’t really prescribe any particular way that people should date, court or be “arranged” for marriage.
This is a good question because many people start dating-from-afar. Sometimes the physical distance between people is over many states or countries. But, in another way, physical distance can be almost as far if you live in the same county but go to different schools and rarely see each other.
However, while there are some benefits (in theory) there are also some drawbacks. People living away from each other don’t have the opportunity to experience the other person in “real life.” There is only so much you can learn from phone calls and late-night text messages. Who a person is on the phone and who they are in everyday life with their family and friends may be very different.
Ok. Let’s see what we can make of this. It is a legitimate question; especially for someone at your phase of life. So, let me just say a few things.
As an example: when I go to buy a new vehicle, I like to drive around to many different dealership lots and see what is out there. And before I get too serious about any of them specifically I want to go on a “test-drive”. Now, when I tell the salesman that I’d like to drive it and see how it handles, I don’t also promise to be faithful to that car and only that car. I don’t promise to love it and care only for it. I just tell him I wanna try it out. If it drives well, than maybe we can pursue it further.
Now, I know people aren’t like cars. But, that actually strengthens my point. The boring biege Chevy Astro van isn’t going to be disappointed that in the end I choose the bright blue Toyota over it. (Btw, I would never drive an astro-van). But, people do get hurt. And we need to be careful about the commitments we make to people, especially at a young age when we aren’t ready to deliver on those large commitments anyway.
This question, like one we had a few weeks ago, isn’t about romantic love (well, at least I hope it isn’t! Maybe in Arkansas it is! ☺ But, as Austin said on Sunday night, one type of love found in the Bible is between family members. So, I would like to respond to this one anyway.
I love ranch-flavored sunflower seeds.
The problem with both of these terms is they need defined. When someone says, “love” what do you think of? Love of what? Sunflower seeds? iPhone? And if love is hard to define, than what about the phrase, “being in love.” That one seems to have taken on a whole lot of fuzziness. No one is quite sure what it means. In fact, most people might tell you that it can’t really be defined at all. It isn’t something you can describe; you can only feel it.
In essence, John says, “You wanna know what love is? Well, this is love. This is it right here. You know love because God, who is love, loved you. He defined love for you. But his definition can’t be found in a dictionary. Love isn’t made of words and feelings, but of actions. Love is a verb. And he demonstrated this action of love by not claiming his own rights and choosing to come and give up his own life for you, though you didn’t deserve it. In fact, before you even chose to love him.”
Think of it this way. How do you know when you are really going down a water-slide at Wildwaves? Well, I don’t know about you, but I know I’m going down the slide when I choose to do it and push off and head on down. In other words, I know my decision pretty quick. Either I’m yelling and screaming down a winding tube full of raging water or I’m not. (I just wonder how many kids have peed in the pool at the bottom!).
I mean, we make choices all day long and don’t question it. I don’t start eating my subway sandwich and think, “How do I know that I’m really eating lunch?” (Some philosphers might, Rene Descartes wanted to know how to know he really existed!) I know I’m eating lunch because I’ve decided it is noon and I’m hungry and that I’m going to eat now (which actually sounds like a good idea, cause all this food talk is making me hungry).
It is also worth mentioning because I think it is a huge part of the answer to this question. Sometimes I think we set ourselves up for huge failure because we take a very complicated issue—such as a relationship with a non-believer—and make it a total nuclear holocaust. When you buy into the myth that this is the only person out there for you, it makes this question almost unanswerable.
But, the issue becomes not do you feel extravagant feeling towards her, but are you ready to make a CHOICE to blend your life with hers for the rest of your life and operate as “one body.” You see, those feeling will eventually fade and then you will have decide if you are ready to play on a team that doesn’t have the same game-time philosophy that you do.
that as a dad, I am trying my best to love my daughter so well that when she grows up she doesn’t feel the need to find love in other, more difficult places. My prayer is that she grows up knowing that there is nothing she could ever do or say that would make Tania and I love her any less. That she would know God loves her the same way.
Let’s me start by saying that Paytyn will probably be your age one day and feel the same way. Of course, I hope that isn’t true, but chances are she won’t feel complete. Why? Well, not because we as her parents didn’t try, but because as I have stated before, no human being—whether romantic interest, good friend or even parent—can fulfill your greatest longings of love and acceptance.
You are like that house. Beneath your hair and make-up and clothes; beneath even your personality and passions is a framework. And that framework is designed to need relationship with God. And until you engage completely in what that framework was designed for (relationship with God), your house will always feel shaky and unsteady.
To my right is a younger couple (maybe 30’s). They look as if they haven’t seen each other in a while. She just came in and they got all “weepy” and started kissing. Now they are cuddle up in the comfy chairs staring deeply into each other’s eyes. They might need a private room. 🙂
our culture’s recipe for love is that there is just one “right person” out there for you and that when you find them they will be able to meet all of your needs 100% of the time. It is a myth that quietly whispers to us that we are incomplete without this one person who was created to fulfill our every need.
Maybe what is needed is to stop looking for the “right person” and focus on BECOMING the “right person”. A far bigger problem in relationships today is that too many of us aren’t really ready emotionally, spiritually, and mentally for a good relationship no matter who the other person is. We are looking for something that is missing in our lives. We are looking for someone to come and fill a hole in us emotionally or mentally. And our relationships are built on finding the “one right person” to fill this need, rather than built on finding ways to show sacrificial love to another person.
The problem with viewing love as an attempt to find the “right person” is that we get caught in the trap of thinking that our goals, dreams, hopes, etc. aren’t good enough and that we need someone else to come and complete them. Looking for the “right person” minimizes what God has already given us. We become willing to compromise what we want and feel called to, in order to find the one prize that will bring us ultimate happiness. And then we discover that the advertisement for the prize wasn’t totally accurate and it has let us down. But, by that point, we have given up so much.
I was watching the “Today Show” on TV a few weeks ago and I saw an interview with Jenny McCarthy (previously from MTV). She was talking about her relationship with Jim Carrey (they have been a couple for years now, but are opposed to marriage). Here is what she said about the suggestion that they get married eventually: “We’re living together… and we’re very happy – all that’s going to be is a piece of paper, really.”
Now, let’s think this through a bit. As I responded in “Question 2” of the last post, there is no thought of “pre-marital” sex in the Bible. In the Jewish culture, sex was either an act done in the relationship of an existing marriage, or was the basic form of solidifying a new one. So, if you weren’t married and happened to have sex with a beautiful girl you met at the grocery store, guess what? Now you are married! Sex, in the Bible, has very large social and spiritual responsibilities as well as individual ones.
1) Parents are some times wrong. I have a feeling probably even your parents would agree with this. Many times they may have something that they feel is very important for you to know, do, learn, or be a part of, but they make mistakes in how they push you towards it. Their motivation is good, but their execution is less than perfect.
nickloyd.com 