Tag Archives: Love

“Letter from MISSISSIPPI” – (#3)

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[Letter #3 from MISSISSIPPI – Part 6  of “A Conversation between Seattle and Mississippi”, a chronicle of honest discussion between two friends.]

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Hello again SEATTLE,

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

Sitting in church listening and thinking, I have come up with more thoughts for you on this conversation.

First, I have also experienced the desire to let people know that not all Christians are like “that.”  I’ve spent time and energy trying to convince some people of that, and finally realized that as long as I believed the Bible was exclusively true, and not just a nice story, they thought of me like “that” anyway.  So I guess I have gotten burned by that type of motivation….I also came to realize that pride was at least part of it.  “If you knew ME you might have a better view of Christians, I’m not THAT kind of (ignorant, stupid, prejudiced, kooky, crazy, homophobic, racist, redneck, protesting, abortion-clinic-blowing-up, hateful or judgmental) Christian.”  I really thought that those adjectives were the problem. And for some people, maybe they are.  Let’s make sure we aren’t doing the damage ourselves, however, by misrepresenting our brothers and sisters as actually being this way, if they are not…(dishonest protest picture).

Second, I mentioned that Jesus promised the world would hate us.  Not that we should seek that out from the world, but that we shouldn’t have a problem with the world hating us or hating Jesus because of us.  It’s just not true that “we must be doing something wrong if people hate us.” In fact, considering what Jesus promises, a more appropriate question would be, are we following him with integrity if no one hates us?

You interpret “the world” to mean other Christians. This gets into a really common attitude today.  People love to say that Christ’s biggest enemies were the religious people of his day…implying therefore, if He came back today, WE would be his enemies.  Todd Agnew’s popular song, “My Jesus” says: my Jesus would never be accepted in my church / The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet / But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud / I think He’d prefer Beale Street [bars/nightclubs] to the stained glass crowd….

Back then “religious” people were completely different than they are today.  They were an orthodox group with special status…not just any common person could believe and become “religious” the way they do today.  For the most part, those who are “religious” by today’s definition are not modern-day Pharisees, but rather his disciples!  His disciples were sinners who changed their entire lives after encountering him.  The “sinners” he loved too much, gathered around to hear him speak the good news.  They loved and believed in him.

The Pharisees’ problem was not that Jesus loved too much, it was his message that sinners-become-disciples had equal or greater spiritual status than the Pharisees.  The prodigal son who comes home and the man who begins work at the 11th hour receive equal rewards as lifelong rule-keepers.  Rather than the pious and self-righteous, pure-blood Jews who had always been in charge, every day “sinners” had equal access to eternal life.  This offended those in charge, because they wanted to be saved for what they were doing, not for believing in Jesus.  My point is that Jesus will be hated by those who do not believe in him, whether they are sinners or happen to call themselves “religious.”

I also think you made a false statement about the world we live in.  You said, “If people who DID believe thought Jesus loved too much, how much more those who don’t believe?”  First, like I said, I don’t think it was those who believed, and I don’t think it was loving too much, it was not wanting everyone who believed in Christ to be saved.  But, my real problem with this statement is that it misrepresents our culture.  Tolerance, acceptance and affirmation are the gods of our age.  I would be shocked if “the world” would ever hate anyone for loving too much today.  So I really just don’t think that’s what Jesus is talking about here.

Finally, I thought about Sodom & Gomorrah and Lot’s attitude there, and that he was praised as a righteous man…He did not engage or accept the culture there.  In fact he was accused of “judging” them simply for not wanting to aid them in their sin.  You mentioned Jonah…whatever other points might be made, the message he was sent by God to preach to total strangers was, repent or be destroyed.  That was the message, and it worked!  Even though he didn’t love them first or at all, even though they had no relationship with him and no reason to listen to him.  Verbal violence?  God was pleased that he was able to spare Ninevah (I am sure they were thrilled too) and that would not have been possible if not for Jonah’s message.  In Revelation and the letters to the churches, tolerating the sinful, immoral and idolatrous among them is an incredible offense against Jesus; not tolerating or even hating the wicked is seen as a virtue!  In Romans 1, Paul talks about people knowing that sins deserve death but that they not only continued sinning but also approved of those who did, implying that something other than approval was needed.

Intolerance for sin seems to be biblical….but it’s pretty much the worst thing you could display in our culture. So I think that’s a pretty good reason why the world might hate us. I never said we should be hateful or that we should not love sinners, but I don’t think that we should turn against other Christians who feel called to speak the truth.  We don’t know that someone might not be saved that way.  Who’s to say that but God?  One of my old churches decided to not try to bring anyone to church but just offer free water or carwashes on Saturday so they could be loving like Jesus.  That’s good for the church members, but I’m sure it won’t help anyone else’s soul.  And frankly, as long as there is just 1 wacky church out there to make the news, our PR with the world is never going to be improved anyway.  That seems to be the wrong tree to be barking up.

Like I said, I’m not condoning hate and I do realize there are hateful Christians out there.  I’m also not saying that having these meaningful, loving relationships with the lost is wrong.  I don’t think that, I think it’s awesome.  I’m glad there are Christians out there doing that but I am also glad there are Christians out there willing to speak the truth in a culture where that is one of the only things considered to be “wrong.”  It’s a shame that believers are hating you for what you’re doing, but I also think it’s a shame that believers have joined the world in hating the others for their message.  Because I think that’s what we are all supposed to be about, in a united way, now more than ever.

Many more thoughts to follow…. I have started rereading the NT through this lens.  It is strange that I would consider something so important and basic, a new way of thinking.  But for me, a lot of these questions and considerations really are new.  I suppose what is new, is the postmodern statement that protest without relationship is verbal violence, along with the presumption that publicly speaking truth is “protest.” But whatever the prompting, I think the question is important and deserves to have time spent on it!  So, thanks again.

MISSISSIPPI

“Letter from SEATTLE” – (response #2)

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[Response #2 from SEATTLE – Part 5 of “A Conversation between Seattle and Mississippi”, a chronicle of honest discussion between two friends.]

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Hey, MISSISSIPPI:

Hahahahaha!  You respond so quickly!  It takes me weeks to have time to sit down and write an email like that, and before I wake up you have written back. =)  So, I thought I would continue the dialogue—a little quicker myself.

And I think you must have been watching me write the last email because I really was smiling and laughing half the time!  Of course, it was late at night and I get a little delirious when I’m tired.   Well, and Jay Leno and Conan were on, so that makes me laugh too.

But, I also do appreciate a good friendly conversation that isn’t communicated through anger, meanness or general insensitivity.  If you only saw some of the emails and comments that come my way!  I don’t even show them to my wife, most of the time, because they are so full of anger and intensity.  And sadly, they often come from “Christian” brothers and sisters.

I really believe that these are the types of civil and open conversations that more Christians should be having with each other.   And I sincerely appreciate your views and the attitude with which you communicate them.

In regards to your last email, I think we probably agree in more areas than we realize.  For instance, I agree that at times we will be persecuted by people for standing up for what is right.  As you correctly stated, Jesus promises us that the world will hate us as it hated him.   And in that regard, I am OK with not being popular or liked.  Trust me, I have to have some thick skin to write blogs like that!  As much as you might think there are many who would cheer that blog, there are three times more that would like to dis-fellowship me for it.   I simply choose not to post their emails or comments because they are too rude and at times vulgar.

Here is the rub for me, though.  I believe Jesus was willing to be hated and I should too.  However, I just want to make sure that I am hated for the things that Jesus was hated for.  I want to “stand-up” for what Jesus stood for.   And as I read through the gospels, I can’t think of a single time that Jesus was hated because of his proclamation of repentance to people that were notorious sinners, unbelievers, non-religious or of other religious persuasion.  His methods seemed different when it came to outsiders.  He didn’t shy away from the problem, but he didn’t seem to start with behavior modification or correction either.   I do think Jesus wants repentance, but I can’t find any story there that is similar in method to the [mega-pastor] event.  Jesus lived love, and out of that love, spoke healing truth into people’s lives.  His message was about the “Kingdom” available to all, not simply adjusting your behavior.

Honestly, I really want to have those conversations with people around me that are hurting.  And I do engage in those conversations.  In all my relationships with people that don’t follow Christ, I am longing toward one-day (in some cases sooner, others later) sharing the truth as I see it in God’s word that can set them free from oppression, self-indulgence, greed, hostility, loneliness, and despair.  But, with so many of them I can’t start there or they’ll never hear it.  I have to earn that right to speak into their life.

I approach it that way (and hopefully some of my other nut job Christian friends do too) not because I’m ashamed of the message, but because I’m not ashamed to love them regardless of whether or not they ever believe it.

Also, I agree that there are those apparently following Christ who appear “ashamed” of the relationship and of any standard that God calls us to.  Whether this is more so now than at other times, I don’t know.  It seems that truly following Christ has always been counter-cultural and the temptation exists to make His radical claims more palatable.

This, of course, is unnecessary.  And those that distance themselves from the difficult parts of Jesus’ teaching in order to make Jesus sound more acceptable to hearers are not only fooling themselves, but really deceiving those they intend to attract.  And at any rate, I think there are many well-meaning people that are lumped into this category that actually believe more of what I have described above than just “shame” in following Christ.

And, I’m not saying that there aren’t ever going to be times that non-believers disagree with us and even antagonize us for it.  I think that happens too and we should be OK with it.  But I think that happens for similar reasons when the world sees us caring for people it casts-off (i.e. drug dealers, sex offenders, terrorists, etc.).  If people who DID BELIEVE think that Jesus loved too much, how much more those that don’t believe?

Interestingly, though, when Jesus talks about being hated, the reference—I believe—is more the religious people around them than the non-religious.  In Jesus’ own context it was the religious leaders that always hated him.  It was they who killed him.  Not because he preached so much propositional truth, but because he loved too much. Or, if preaching, because he preached the truth about love.

In that way, I think [the mega-pastor] (if the illustrated scenario you described was accurate) misunderstood sacrifice.   He could have still been unpopular in his belief on homosexuality (I think that is fine, in fact, theologically we agree), but found an equally unpopular way (in Jesus’ sense) of loving outsiders.  Instead, it felt to me like he was willing to be unpopular with the world to in some small way be more popular with his church friends.

Now I’M being dangerous because I’m guessing at his motives!  And maybe I’m mistaking his motives (which isn’t really my point anyway—I’m not criticizing his motives, he might be a fine man, just his methods that I don’t think are consistent with Jesus), but if he did feel like a prophet, he’d do well to remember that is was God’s people that were angry with the prophets, not outsiders.  They existed, primarily, to reform God’s people, not convert others.  (the only exception I can think of here is Jonah, and without going into another long email, I think the circumstances illustrate a similar point).

In terms of media, I think you are right here as well.  They do often cast all Christians in one-boat as a bunch of wackos.   Of course media has an agenda too.  And very often they do choose the worst to represent us all.  And in that way, they share part of the blame of the perception of Christians today.  Although, I think we’d be wise to own up to our own fair share responsibility.   The Church does do some weird things sometimes!  LOL.

But, this comes down to several things for me too.  1)  There is a difference, I think, between the “cultural Christianity” in America today and real Authentic Jesus-following stuff.   The “cultural Christianity” (CC) is what makes the news.  It’s the people that say they are Christian, go to church occasionally, but live lives that look nothing like Christ.  Christianity isn’t so much a lifestyle to them, but a cultural definition of who they are.  However, whenever there is something to protest (and I’m not lumping [mega-pastor] in with this group) that is different than their American-Christian worldview, they are the first to speak up.  Not so much based on conviction about Christ’s transformation in their life or the world, but out of a sense of pride in their worldview they’ve always known being right.  These are the people that news agency’s love because they are full of hypocrisy, contradictions and have volatile sound-bites.

Then, there are the many good and devoted followers of Jesus in this country that really live what they preach and love God deeply.   And it is this group that I think you rightly pointed out are doing a great many things in their churches and communities that doesn’t make the TV.  And to these people I am deeply indebted and extremely proud.

Now, I know for me personally, when I am found agreeing with the media about the Christian stereotype, it is not because I’m ashamed of what that latter group believes and lives, or that I find it easier to perpetuate the media’s skewed perceptions.   But, rather, it is my agreement that the former group IS fraudulent and in many ways destructive.   I want people to see through that type of commitment anyway.

Which brings me to the second point . . . 2) I often spend a great deal of time criticizing the former group because I have to convince people today that not all Christians are like that.   To convince them that there are many followers-of-Jesus found in group 2 that are consistent, truthful and worthy of admiration.   It’s why I often don’t even use the name “Christian” for myself anymore (because it is culturally associated with CC), but use something else, such as “follower-of-Christ.”

My thought is that many people our age have noticed this difference as well.  Now, no doubt there are some that simply want to hide from difficulty, as you suggest, and it is easier for them to agree with mainstream thoughts about Christians.  And shame on them.

But a great deal more may simply be trying to make the point that Christianity is not a cultural garment to be worn when convenient, but is a life-altering commitment that invades every moment of your life.   It may be that this language we hear is an attempt at making that distinction in post-Christian culture that thinks they’ve heard everything there is to know about Jesus already—even though they probably haven’t.

Can it go overboard?  Probably.  I think it is a tough line to walk.   You are trying to build credibility, while still showing the good that exists in the bride of Christ.   Maybe I don’t always walk it correctly myself.  But, I really do try hard.   And I’m sure people of both good and bad motives go overboard in this area and that is regrettable.

At any rate, while not all helpful or purely motivated, some of what I hear today actually gives me hope that things can be better, not worse.

Ok.  Long enough for email #2.   See you got me all thinking today, when I should be working!  LOL.

Grace and peace,

SEATTLE

A Conversation Between Seattle & Mississippi

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I have to sing a song to spell MISSISSIPPI correctly.  Just seems like there are a few too many “S’s” in there, doesn’t it?   But, I’m sure it is a beautiful state.  And anyway, I received a facebook message from a friend who lives there a few weeks ago.

It was great to hear from a friend I hadn’t communicated with in a while.  Isn’t Facebook great?  Ahhh, cheers to you, facebook people!

But, it started an ongoing conversation that has been one of the more rewarding and fascinating conversations that I have had in a long while.   One that I think is too valuable to keep to ourselves.

And so, with her permission, I have decided to let you over-hear our conversation.  Now, you should know from the beginning, that we don’t agree on a few things.   And I think that will become obvious as you read.  But, you should also know that we DO agree on a great deal.  Not the least of which is our love of God, our love of people and our commitment to friendship.

You should also know that though we have different perspectives on some things, I highly regard and respect her both as a person and a thinker.  And whether you agree with my perspective or hers or neither, I hope that you respect our friendship as well.

And lastly, you should know that the conversation you are about to listen in on, is a dialogue in process.  Though I can’t totally speak for her, I can say that God is continually reforming my thoughts on these areas and that where I am today may evolve by tomorrow.  And in that way, you are not reading our hard and fast thoughts, but our attempts to discover what we believe out loud, in conversation, with each other.  It is more vulnerable that way, but more rewarding, I think.

And so, I will post our comments back and forth to each other over the next few days.  “Letters from Seattle” will represent me.   “Letter from Mississippi” will represent her.   And it is our prayer that no matter where you come out on these issues, that it would cause you to think, to stretch, to grow, and to maybe start your own conversation.  Or in some way join into ours by leaving a respectful comment here.

Maybe the time for distasteful arguments is done and the time for constructive and respectful conversations is finally here.   God, may it be so.

To have the proper context, however, you must have read an earlier blog I wrote several months back.  And so I have re-posted it below.  I will follow with the first “Letter from Mississippi” in a few days.

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Mega-Pastors can be Mega-Wrong

I think i’ve discovered why the church can too often be found on the wrong side of major issues. In fact, how it can many times be found on the exact opposite side of even God on major issues . . . Church Leaders.

I drove home from the gay bath house last week [see my previous blogs about Gay Bathhouse] and came home to a startling news story. Well, it was actually just a news teaser for the 11-o’clock news that night during a commercial break during “The Office.” But, nonetheless, it startled me.

“Mega Church Pastor Protests High School Students.”

Headlines like that tend to catch my eye. So, i tuned into the local Seattle newschannel website to read up on what it was all about–after “The Office” was over, obviously.

The basic story was that each year, high schools in my area (and probably elsewhere) celebrate a day called “day of silence.” It is an event sponsored by the “gay, straight alliance” that encourages students to not talk all day in order to bring awareness to and solidarity with potentially gay students among them that are treated poorly, made fun of and often don’t have a credible voice.

A local mega-church pastor, who lived in the community of one such high school, decided to organize a protest of the event. So, in front of many news cameras, he called for 1,000 members of his church and other Christians to come down and picket and protest outside of the school for the whole day, chanting their anti-gay views and “correcting” the sin of a few through the personalized and compassionate forum of a billboard sign.

Now, in one sense, i realize that “day of silence” probably has a pro-gay agenda to it. But, as i read the article, i couldn’t help but wonder, “what is so wrong about not wanting gay students to be made fun of, physically abused or emotionally taunted?” In that regard, as a follower of Christ, i whole heartedly agree with the sentiment of the day. And on any level, what does picketing a bunch of high schoolers really accomplish?

My problem was i had just come home from sitting inside a very promiscous gay bath house in Seattle, where i had been sitting with my friend Rick handing out condoms and information to everyone who walked in. We didn’t personally know any of the guys that came in that night. We didn’t have any signs. We weren’t chanting anything. We simply handed out latex.

And as i sat at home reading the news story, the dichotomy of events perplexed me. On the one hand there was a mega church pastor that many people know, calling for Christians to protest teenagers attempting to humanize homosexual people that are often treated otherwise. And on the other hand, there was an everyday Christian that nobody knows, living with AIDS, sitting in a place most don’t know about and would never want to go to, handing out medical prevention (though not perfect) to oppressed adult addicts.

Both men agree homosexuality is not God’s ideal. The issue isn’t the morality of the lifestyle, but of the morality of our response. And because morality is a fuzzy term, let me define it this way. At issue is not whether Jesus approves of homosexuality as God’s ideal, but how Jesus would respond to people that are homosexual.

And in this case, the Mega-Pastor is Mega-WRONG. What the MP (mega-pastor) fails to realize is that protest without relationship is simply verbal violence. What the MP doesn’t understand is that compassion for people who don’t agree with you is “loving your neighbor as yourself.” What the MP has mistakenly accepted is that if you yell loud enough Jesus’ voice will be heard, when Jesus himself yells only at the religious pharisees and whispers grace to the sinner.

And what this reminds me is that, apparently, you can have everything RIGHT in your theology, but not be RIGHT. You can worship God in all the RIGHT ways, but not be RIGHT.

And as far as i can tell, Jesus never organized a protest of anything (unless you count his little tirade against the religious leaders in the temple), he simply went and ate and spent time with people who’s lives missed the mark of God’s ideal, calling them to something more fulfilling. He loved them to “abundant life.” There was no place for protest.

And so, Rick sits in Seattle at a gay bath house. No signs. No chants. He hopes that he is making a difference. Is a condom the answer to the problem? No. The problem is much more complex that what simple latex can fix. There are emotional, spiritual and mental issues that must be addressed. A holistic answer is needed.

But in the vaccuum of that answer, it is the only thing Rick knows to do. And so he does it.

It makes me wish that when people thought of Christians they thought of people like Rick rather than the blow hards that get all the news headlines like our local mega-pastor last week.

It makes me think that if Jesus were here today, he’d probably look more like the average guy, Rick, than the news bite mega-pastor any way.

I often ridicule Christians, mostly because we are such an easy target. But, i really don’t think all Christians are bad. I am one. Or that church is bad. I’m a part of one.

But, what scares me is that there is a vocal minority giving my faith a bad name. No, not my faith, my God. People hear words like they did last week and think that they are God’s sentiment or God’s words. And they never have been. The mega-pastor is simply wrong.

So, here is to you, out-spoken mega-church pastor. I’m pleading with you. Please examine your response to people with the life of Jesus before you speak and act in ways that shame Him and us.

I’ll even keep using the name “Christian,” if you’ll start acting like one.

Snot & Booger Theology

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I pick my nose.

Ok, there, I said it.  But what are you supposed to do when there’s a big booger just chillin’ up there restricting all the oxygen from getting to your brain?  I mean, maybe I do it because the socially respectable part of my mind is just oxygen deprived.  It’s just plain survival!

Now, i don’t eat it.  I don’t wipe it on my pants or stick it under a desk or anything.  But if we’re going to just be straight up honest, I’ve been known to pull debris out my nasal cavity.  Sometimes some fairly large and impressive debris.

But, I do have boundaries.  I’ll touch all my own snot (and then shake your hand . . . think about that), but in no way do I want to have personal contact with the mucous in your nose.  That would just be disgusting.

So, I was reading a st97807460377822ory to my daughter the other night when something wet dripped on the book.  It was a very deep and intellectual book entitled, “That’s Not My Puppy” and so naturally I was concerned.  When I looked up, I saw my 10-month-old daughter rubbing her face as a river of clear snot ran out her nose, down her chin and fell softly, pooling up on the book page.

Now, my first instinct is to be a little grossed out.  For instance, should you come over to my house and blow your nose all over a book that I’m reading to you, I’d probably be a little offended (because we do have kleenex available-with lotion to prevent chaffing), and I’d likely show you the outside of my front door (however, you would get to take the book home with you).  There are certain aspects of your life that I’m really comfortable just leaving to your care and that I’d rather not be invited to.

And yet, as absolutely gross as I find another person’s snot, there is something about my relationship with my daughter that is causing me to suspend all the normal things I would avoid participating in with any other person.  There is an element of messiness, filth and indecency that I find myself willing to engage in with Paytyn, sometimes without even a second thought . . .

So, I did that night what had to be done.  My daughter needed her nose wiped.  And because she hates the little booger-sucker thing and won’t hold still long enough for me to use it.  And since there was very little supplies at hand.  I took my hand and started to pull the snot out of her nose with my bare fingers.  For several minutes I pulled gobs of clear goo out of her soft, little nose.  It was like excavating a pudding container with your fingers.  Turns out, though, it’s more effective than that stupid aspirator anyway.

Gross?  Maybe.  But, since I had left her burp rag downstairs and was too lazy to walk back down and get it, I did what any good dad would do and wiped it on my pant leg!  Now, I don’t wipe my own snot there, but apparently that’s where I’m willing to showcase Paytyn’s.  It’s as if being a dad is turning me into some sort of weird savage caveman.   I pull snot out of noses and wipe it on my leg.   I wipe amazingly foul-smelling poop off the butt of another human being.   I’ve been thrown up on more times than I can remember (the worst of which is always when I’m not wearing a shirt).   And yet, I keep reading stories, changing diapers, and take every moment I can to hold my daughter, knowing that all the messiness is sure to come again.

And so as I layed her down to sleep that night and headed downstairs to put my snot-crusted jeans in the wash, I thought about what I’ve become . . .

I’ve become a lover.  I’ve become a dad.  I’ve become a fan.  And no matter what kind of dirt and grime and disgusting adventures I’m pulled into, I’m willing to go (even though it isn’t my preference) because I am so totally in love with this little girl.  I’m willing to get as dirty as it takes to have a relationship with her.

Have you ever thought of God like that?  Have you ever thought of the mud and the dirt and the filth that we pull him into?  Have you ever thought of the snot and the poo that we expose Him to?  The gossip.  The messy break-ups.  The wars.  The greed.  The dishonesty.  The betrayals.  The hypocrisy.  The self-centeredness.  The hatred.

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And what if in the midst of all this vulgarity, God is not standing on the outside of the earth, keeping Himself clean and tidy while condemning us with displeasure.   But, what if where you find God is right here in the middle of the mud, knee deep in the poo, wiping snot all over his pants.   What if God desires so much better of us, and yet is willing to do whatever takes–to get as dirty as necessary–to have a relationship with you.   With me.

What if God is willing to go to any extreme to help us wipe our nose?

One of my favorite verses these days is Romans 5:7-8.  It is here that Paul talks about who God has become because of us:   “Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.  But God demonstrates his love for us in this:  while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

While we were still sinners . . . I like that.

It reminds me that no matter how cultured and religious I think I am, I’m right down in the mud with everyone else.  It reminds me that no matter how dirty I get, God’s first thought of me is always love and not condemnation.  It reminds me that even when I think I’m too messed up and broken to be useful or desired by anyone, let alone God, that he is much closer than I realize.  It reminds me that He won’t wait until I get all cleaned-up to “demonstrate” or “prove” His love for me, but that in some strange fatherly way, He proves it by loving me in the mud.

And it reminds me that God will go to any length to clean me up, even if it means getting dirt, snot or even blood all over his clothes.

And so may you remember, whenever you come across these words, that your Dad is not too distant to know your struggles.  He is not too stodgy to wipe your nose.  He is willing to take steps to you long before you take steps to Him.

I just hope Paytyn grows up knowing the same thing.

Lord, Save Us from Your Followers

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Several days ago, i was walking out of a Walmart when i saw a guy standing behind some tables right beyond the door. Somehow, i hadn’t seen him going in, but i noticed him immediately as i walked out. He was, after all, hard to miss with his many political signs.

“Life in prison for all child molesters!”

“Stop destroying human life in Iraq!”

People like that intrigue me. I have some pretty strong beliefs about issues like that too, but i’ve never been outside walmart displaying my beliefs on a sign.

So, i walked up to the man to have a conversation. I was curious. I didn’t really know what he was trying to say with his signs. I wasn’t even sure whether i would agree or disagree with him. I simply wanted to talk and try to understand his perspective on these issues. Maybe, and i know this is a long shot, he would say something that would help me think about these concerns that i hadn’t considered before. I just wanted a conversation.

“You wanna sign my petition?” He asked.

“No. Not yet anyway. I was just hoping you could tell me a little bit about your perspective on these issues.”

“Well,” he replied, “if you sign this one you will be helping us get rid of all the tax that is in the cost of gasoline in the State of Washington.”

Ok. I don’t like the price of fuel, but i wasn’t really there to sign anything. I simply wanted to talk.

“What about this whole child molester thing? What is your perspective about that issue?”

He pointed to a one sentence paragraph on the top of another petition. “Just read it. It’s right there.”

The sentence said something to the effect of raising the maximum penalty for first-time child sex-predators to life in prison. But, really, i had already got that from the sign. I was looking for a little discussion on the ramifications of that and why he thought that this might be the best solution.

So getting a little frustrated, I replied, “Ok, but what is YOUR perspective on this? How would this work?”

“Look,” he said. “Your not voting for it right now. Your just signing so it gets on the ballot and we can let people vote on it later. Why don’t you sign this one over here, it’s about bringing home the troops from Iraq.”

“Well, i’m not really sure i want to sign anything right now,” I re-stated. Was he even hearing me or just repeating what he had been trained to say. “I just wanna tal-.”

“Aright, are you planning on signing anything or am i just wasting my time?” he blurted out, cutting me off and getting annoyed.

“Well, no, i don’t think i’m gonna sign anything.”

No sooner had i said those words than he turned his back to me, started setting up another part of his display and completely ignored me.

So much for conversation.

Seems like it is hard to have a real conversation with people anymore, doesn’t it? Rather than sit down and discuss complex problems such as child-molesters, fuel costs, and war and their equally complex solutions, we would often rather reduce our personal beliefs to a simple sentence and see how many people will sign off with their approval. If you don’t agree, or in my case aren’t sure, well then we just don’t have time for you.

It is no wonder we live in such a divided nation.

I suppose my interaction that day got me thinking about my own response to people around me when they aren’t in agreement with my personal beliefs or haven’t come to a solid conclusion yet. It got me thinking about church and the way we as a group deal with people who don’t see life our way, or have yet to really decide one way or the other.

Maybe I have been as guilty as this petition-guy, at not getting involved in the humble and messy endeavor of “conversation” or “dialogue” and been too quick to dismiss people. Maybe the church that i love has been too eager to do the same.

That is why a new movie that is just coming out has been so powerful to me. Now, i’m not normally in the business of promoting movies, but in this case the movie itself carries a message that i think we all need to hear.

The movie: “Lord Save us from Your Followers.” www.lordsaveusthemovie.com


We recently screened this movie at our church, with the director of the movie, Dan Merchant, there to help explain and discuss what we had seen. Though I was a little nervous about the response, the packed auditorium of people gave it a standing ovation at the conclusion.

The movie is a beautiful breath of fresh air about the need for us to lose ourselves in the lives of others. To look first to the sin inside of us rather than pointing out the sin of others. And most importantly, to exercise humility, compassion and respect in having dialogue with many different people who don’t necessarily agree with any one of our own personal or religious convictions.

It was Dan’s own words this weekend that touched me most. In response to a criticism at the end he responded by saying, ” You are right, the truth does divide. But, lets just make sure it is the truth doing the dividing and not us.”

This is a great movie with a greater message. There is no way i could recommend this movie any higher. It is truly amazing and needed.

For those of you who haven’t seen it, you can screen it at the website: www.lordsaveusthemovie.com. If you have seen it and enjoyed it, there are several other resources i would recommend very highly to you along the same vein.

1) “The Myth of a Christian Nation” by Greg Boyd

2) “Jesus for President” by Shane Claiborne

These are two great books that compliment well and continue the discussion.

May we never respond to people the way the petition guy responded to me. And may we always be willing to love and respect others above ourselves.

No Gimmicks, Just Love

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I had never built a raging bonfire in someone’s front yard before. But, i gotta say, it was a lot of fun. As we piled boards and tree limbs taller than ourselves, flames leaped above us engulfing it all.

But, we weren’t there because of the fire. We were there because of the water.

Six months ago in a very small community around Chehalis, Washington, one of the most devastating floods to ever hit our state destroyed the little city of Adna. An estimated 20 inches of rain fell in only 24 hours. But, it wasn’t just the rain. It was the snow it melted with it. And together they caused a flood that buried our main freeway in Washington (I-5) 12 feet under water for days and nearly washed away poor Adna.

Where we were standing today, water had invaded at the height of 8 ft, raging straight through downtown, though people’s homes and at the rate of a class three rapid. It ripped houses clear off their foundation, piled mud several feet deep inside their homes, and took cars, trees, and animals all with it. The lady whose house we stood at today, along with most of her neighbors, were rescued only by going to the upper levels of their house and eventually by rescue helicopters that were the only way out of the ocean of water around them. In fact, she had only just moved back into her house two days ago…six months later!

And so today, we gathered up what was left of her garage that had been pulled down, and carried it into a giant rotten pile, and burned it.

I guess we were used to seeing this type of stuff by now. For the last three weekends, our youth staff has taken high school students from our church down to Chehalis to help clean-up people’s property and restore their land and their homes. And during that time, we have burned plenty. We have shoveled tons of mud. We leveled ground. We built fences. We crawled in dark, dirty places and scooped and vacuumed dried mud. We cleared debris and brush.

But, i think most of all, we learned people’s stories. We met Darryl, who was gone with his wife on vacation when the storm hit. They came home to a house buried in at least four feet of mud. We met Jan, who watched her entire neighborhood disappear, only to be rescued in distress by the helicopter. We met Steve, who lost his entire house, and is now rebuilding. And many more.

My favorite, though, was Dennis. Dennis is the preacher of the little evangelical church in Adna. He showed us his completely gutted church building today and told us their story. They weren’t home either when the flood came. But the damage to their home and the church next door was near total. FEMA estimated their total loss at about $180,000, which is a lot for a church of 50 people to overcome. He told us that there were times he didn’t think it could be done.

But, that was before the Christians showed up. Immediately after the disaster, churches mobilized and came to help. They tore out flooring and wall board. They dug out houses from mud. And they helped begin the restoration of this tiny church in Adna you’ll probably never visit or hear about.

His doubt was before people in the community sold property elsewhere and gave gifts of $5,000 at a time for rebuilding. It was before a small church of 100 people in Oregon felt that God was calling them to give their entire savings nest egg of $10,000 to help them.

And it was at this point in the story that Dennis said something that moved me. “Look around. Things were really bad here. And at times we have wanted to give up. We get weary of all this. And in one way we wish this were over. But, we would never choose to take it away and not go through it. God has taught us so much about trusting Him.”

Easy for a preacher to say? Maybe. But tougher for a preacher that has lost nearly all of his own personal belongings.

But it wasn’t just this preacher. It was the whole community. Nearly everyone we helped in the last three weeks said two things: 1) the flood had brought about so much good (even Adna has cellphone service now because relief groups came down and didn’t have cell coverage and went home and complained to their cellphone companies and they built several cell towers!) and 2) it was these crazy followers of Christ that are the only reason they are there today.

My new friend, Darryl, isn’t a Christian. But, even he noticed the large outpouring of love from these Christ-followers. He told me, “When i saw the damage, I told my wife, let’s get out of here. It is time to just move on and start over somewhere else.” You know why he stayed? In his words, “well, the church showed up.”

And not just the local Adna church. The Church showed up. All of them. From all traditions, backgrounds and theologies. Working side by side, they helped dig Darryl’s house out of the mud, demo it all the way down to the studs, and rebuild it so that he and his wife can live in it today.

Mud. Piles of debris. Blisters. Sunburn. Fence-post diggers. Burn piles.

It was the most beautiful thing I have seen in a long time.

I know a lot of people have a really suspicious and even bad mindset toward Christians today. I even understand why. I think i do too, sometimes.

But, I’ll tell you who doesn’t. The beautiful people of Adna. They aren’t suspicious. They are overwhelmed with gratitude and love. No one loves the church more than them.

Wanna know something crazy? The little evangelical church in Adna has grown almost 50% since the flood. So has the little church nearby in Boistfort, WA. And so have many more.

And every one of them knows it’s grown because of the sacrificial love they have shown, impartially, to those around them in need. But that isn’t why they did it.

And really, that’s exactly why it’s worked.

Who Would Jesus Bomb?

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I see the bumper sticker all time. In fact, i’ve thought about getting one myself. It’s just that i can’t afford the gasoline to actually drive my car anymore and display it. And i think it would look a little ridiculous on my bike.

A few weeks ago, it became more than a bumper stick for me though. You see, i’ve been hanging out with this guy named Rick. And in my adventures with him, i’ve found myself experiencing a lot and re-thinking a lot more. [see my last three blogs for the whole enchilada].

But, i was recounting my experiences at the bath house with a few friends of mine the other night. And as we sat around, i told them of life at the bath house, of the men who came in compelled by their addiction, and of the two of us who sat there patiently handing out an imperfect solution because it was the only thing we knew to do.

And as i shared these experiences, one of my older friends was obviously getting agitated. She squirmed in her chair. I could see by the look on her face that she wasn’t completely approving of my choice of Thursday night activity.

I should have known she would be skeptical. Of course, i already know her and if i had thought back, i would have realized that this type of conversation would really stretch her theologically and spiritually. But, she is my friend. And she is a bit of a hero for me. She has been involved in missions work across the world for many years. She knows what it means to love and meet people where they are in their life and to nurture them to faith in Christ.

So, i was surprised when after hearing the whole story she asked this question: “Are there any mosques in town?”

“Like Muslim Mosques?” I replied. “I know there is at least one in Seattle that i’m familiar with.”

“Great,” she said. “Here’s what we are gonna do. We are all gonna write letters to the mosque and tell them about this gay bath house. And i guarantee you, in two weeks they’ll have bombed the place.”

WHAT??? I’m not sure if i actually was able to get out any intelligible words at this point. I was completely dumbfounded. I wasn’t even sure i had heard her right. Maybe i had just misunderstood.

“But…that isn’t the only bath house,” I offered, hoping that somehow she would clarify.

“Well, then we’ll tell them about all of them. Trust me. They’ll deal with the problem.”

Now, i’d like to stop here for a second and explain a few things. First of all, i don’t really think that if we wrote any letters of the sort to the local mosque in Seattle that this kind of “solution” would actually happen. Not every Muslim, and certainly not the ones i have been around in this area, actually consider “bombing” a legitimate solution to anything. And i’m fairly certain that a large portion, if not all of them, may be very offended by even the suggestion being offered here. And in that sense, i’m offended with them.

Secondly, i find it very ironic that people who justify the use of war against Muslim extremists who employ this sort of tactic, would then find it in some way divinely acceptable to use these same terrorist tactics to promote their own agenda or sense of moral decency. In a very scary way, the lines between militant Islam and militant Christianity become about the same thing.

Friedrich Nietzsche once said: “Be careful in pursuing the monster that you do not become the monster yourself.”

Sadly, I think a lot the “Christian” world could be accused of this latter atrocity today. We have become too blood-thirsty. Too eager for the fight. The intense (and almost naive) backing of the United States war in Iraq and Afghanistan by many “Christians,” alone, suggests that this danger is alive and well.

And as all this is going on in my head, i realize that i have to say something. Although no physical bombs have actually gone off, a large verbal bomb has just been detonated in the room.

“But, i don’t want anybody to blow up the bath house . . . and besides, i don’t think Jesus is going to allow me to do that.”

After a lot more discussion, my friend seemed to settle down. In fact, at one point she even retreated to a position of “oh, i was just joking.” The reason i’m writing this, though, is because i don’t think she was.

And so, what do you do? What do you do when your friend, that has made of life of loving people not like her, displays that type of bigotry and hate? What do you do when mega-church pastors around you seem to demonstrate the exact opposite of the love of Christ they say they represent?

You see, i learned in the bath house that i am called to love everyone. I’m called even to love the most diabolically oppressed men who throw away their lives to an addiction. I’m called to love even the people that everyone else (religious or otherwise) write off as garbage or as a social disease. I’m called to love the people that go to the gay bath house. I’m even called to love the people that own it and make me most angry by feeding these hopeless people’s addiction and even making money off of it.

But, would Jesus bomb the bath house? Absolutely not. He calls me to love the people there, not to destroy them.

But, here’s what i learned from my friend that night. Not only does Jesus call me to love the guys at the bathhouse. He calls me to love my friend too.

You see, i believe she is dead wrong. I believe the Mega-pastor is dead wrong. But, if I’m to be a consistent lover of God, I’m called to love them too. And in some ways, it is easier for me to extend my love to those in the bath house than to those in God’s house.

So, I may call them to conviction. I may be critical of their response to others. I may even have to challenge their assumptions of how big God’s grace really is. But, i am not allowed to treat them with any less love than God does.

My friend may not be right. She may not be living a lifestyle (without ultimate love) that i condone. But, in those ways, is she really so different than my new friends at the bath house? And if i’m called to love them, certainly i am called to love her.

I think i’ve written about all i can on this topic for now. It is interesting to me that many more people have read this blog and left comments about this particular topic than any i have written. Obviously, this is a sensitive and important issue for many of us.

But, i have been encouraged this past week as i have read your comments and responses. If nothing else, it reminds me that there are many people that follow Christ today that are desiring to show love to ALL people. And if that is the case, then maybe there is a great deal of hope for the world.

So here is my prayer…

God, bless my friends at the bath house. May they be free from sexual oppression and may they find ultimate peace and fulfillment in You.

God, bless my Christians friends that don’t show love like they should. May they experience Your love to an even greater degree and may that love shape them into greater lovers of You and Your people.

Amen.

Gay Bath-House

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I spent last Thursday night in gay bath-house.

Well, not the whole night. Just for three hours or so. Actually, i was back in time to watch “The Office” and the new episode of “Lost,” but it would take a whole lot to wrestle me away from both of those. Anyone with me on that?

Anyway, I was invited by my new friend, Rick. Rick is a man i recently met who has been teaching me a lot about what it means to love, follow Jesus, and live my life with purpose and intention (see my last blog). But, maybe the most intriguing part of the man is where you’ll find him most Thursday nights–in any one of three gay bath houses in downtown Seattle.

Now, i didn’t even know that there were bath houses in Seattle. I suppose it shouldn’t really surprise me; i guess i just hadn’t really thought about it. But since he had explained his presence there i felt compelled to go and discover what would draw a man back there week after week to serve people that many have written off.

Getting there, i thought, would be easy. I had an address. I had a GPS device. I had a car. Pretty much i can get anywhere. But, as i turned down the block and approached the spot where the GPS said i had arrived, i didn’t see anything. So, i drove around the block, still looking. Then again. In fact, i drove around five times looking for a business i was assured existed. Finally, in exasperation, I called Rick and asked him where to go. He told me it wasn’t marked, that there was no signage at all, but that i should simply look for a red door and go inside.

I was definitely nervous to go inside. Mostly because i just wasn’t sure what to expect. But, as i walked through the door, i met an employee at the counter and he ushered me through to the lobby, where Rick was already seated waiting.

Rick explained to me that we would sit here for our whole shift offering “safer sex” kits to anyone that would come by us. Inside each kit was a condom, lubrication, and a pamphlet on HIV/AIDS with educational information and a hotline to call.

As things weren’t too busy initially, however, he offered to give me a tour of the club. Not really knowing what a bath house was–i was still picturing a giant pool with people lounging around in pool chairs sipping ice-tea and others sitting on the edge of the pool dangling there legs in the warm water–i said, “why not?”

Now, i’m not sure i have the courage to explain to you everything i saw that night inside the bath house. But, there were some things i saw that were pretty normal: a internet cafe with people checking their email, a tv lounge with “My Name is Earl” on, and a normal looking shower area with lockers. What i didn’t see was any sort of “bath” or large pool.

But, without exposing you to everything i saw, let me explain the general purpose of the club. The basic idea is it is a place for gay men to gather and either purposely–or more often it appeared randomly–meet other gay men and engage in sexual behavior together.

And let me tell you, i was relieved to get back to the lobby! While too much for this blog to convey, there was much to see that made me quite uncomfortable. In fact, I felt like i was holding my breath during the entire tour.

However, as we got back to the lobby, i understood much more fully why we were there. We weren’t there to hand out kits that could possibly be used. We were there because the kits we handed out that night were SURE to be used. The job was no longer optional, it was necessary.

That night we sat there handing out kits to everyone who came in. And roughly half of the people coming in accepted our gift. We even got three guys to agree to be tested for HIV by the King County Health Department doctor that was there with us (In just 20 minutes, each of them knew their status).

But, it was the drive home that i had to process everything that i had experienced. And for those of you who have asked, here is what i learned…

1) Stereotypes are dead. If there were any stereotypes of what it means to be gay, or beyond that gay and in a club like that, they are gone now. Guys from every walk of life came in the club that night. Old. Young. White. Black. Asian. Wealthy. Poor. None of it mattered. There were no guys in drag. It was people you walk among and live around all day long. Any attempt to label people or stereotype them never seemed more wrong.

2) Homosexuality wasn’t the biggest problem. If you really pressed me, i would have to admit that i believe that homosexuality is not God’s ideal. In one way, i hate to make that claim. Not because i don’t authentically believe it, but because so many are saying it without love. I say it this way because i believe it is a difficult issue and a deeply sensitive one. Not involving theories or abstracts, but involving real people with real loves, desires, dreams and ambitions.

However, that wasn’t the biggest issue in a club like this. It was, to be sure, a very dark place, but not because gay men gathered there. The darkness came from the intent of the club. The club exists in order for people to meet (randomly?) and have their pornography and sexual addictions fed. The bathhouse operates to encourage people to engage in highly promiscuous and dangerous sexual activity. Activities that destroy relationships, encourage isolationism, damage families and promote disease.

Had this been a heterosexual club, it would have been no less dark. And in this way, homosexuality wasn’t even the major issue.

And i suppose that leads to the most important thing i learned:

3) God calls me to love people that others (especially many Christians) consider worthless.

I suppose at one point, just before i walked in the door that night, i may have considered them worthless as well. I was afraid of them. I was judgmental of them. I had already labeled and categorized them.

But, something happened as i watched guy after guy enter the club that night. In a glance, I started to look into their eyes. Although really, very few were willing to actually look anyone directly in the eye for long. And what i saw was not sub-human. They were not worthless garbage to be discarded. The were not “lost causes” to given up on and condemned.

They were Imago Dei. They were the image of God. They were and are created in the very same image of God that i am created in. And beyond their oppression to a sexual addiction, they are still valuable and beautiful.

So, I asked Rick, “How many churches help out with this?” He said he couldn’t think of any. So i asked, “How many Christians do you know that help out here? And again he couldn’t think of any.

Hundreds of people, like slaves oppressed by evil, flock to the bathhouses each day. And not a single Christian, other than Rick is anywhere in sight? That just doesn’t sound like the Jesus i know. And let me be clear, i’m not primarily picking on other Christians here, i’m shocked most at my own un-Christlike absence.

Would Jesus go to the bath house? I don’t know. But, i know he went to the places that no one else thought a respected religious leader should go. He showed up to parties at tax collector’s houses. Hung out with notorious sinners and prostitutes. He even invited a hated tax collector to be among his elite few, 12 disciples (Matthew 9:9-13).

And so, i arrived that night thinking that the people in the club weren’t worth the piece of latex we were handing out. But, I discovered instead that Jesus lives there. He lives there in the form of my friend, Rick, who sees beyond their addiction to the divine imprint and beauty in each of them.

If you ask Rick why he’s there, he might simply tell you, “I’m a doctor. And there are sick people here.”

Ironically, Jesus said the same thing when questioned about why he hung around the condemned of his day, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor-sick people do. For i have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” (Matt. 9:12-13)

In that way, Jesus might more often be with Rick at the gay bath house, than with me in my house.

Occasionally Christians Make You Proud…

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Christians are embarrassing.

Pretty much everyday i find something that proclaimed Christians do that makes me embarrassed to be one. They vote republican blindly. They proliferate bigotry. They worship their church buildings. They talk in ways that no one else understands. They defend things they don’t need to and abandon people that do. They are more about material emperialism than God’s Kingdom. And, they look and act, well . . . goofy.

Ok, so not all Christians. There certainly are people that are trying to live their lives in the grace and love that Jesus taught and gave freely. But it does seem like there is a lot of disappointment among Christians in our generation, doesn’t there? In fact, most the time i don’t even identify myself by that title anymore. I prefer, “Follower of Jesus” or about anything else that identifies myself with God, but not the stereotypical “Christian.”

However, occasionally, a Christian might just pop up and surprise you. In this case, even a whole church body.

Several months ago a large storm hit the Oregon coast where my family lives. We are talking 85 mph winds, sustained, and gusts up to 120 mph for about 16 hours. And when the storm hit, it basically devastated the entire region. It was declared a federal disaster area, people were being helicoptered out of their homes, and every highway in or out was completely blocked by hundreds and hundreds of downed trees.

My dad is a preacher in a small rural church there on the Oregon coast. And after the storm, they found that their church roof was old, leaking, missing shingles and needing repair. However the cost of replacing an entire roof of the building was a huge cost for a church of 50-60 people.

So, one member went home and called her sister on the east coast to tell her to pray that the church would be able to finance it. This sister then went to her weekly small prayer group of women from her church. She shared the prayer request, they prayed, and at the end one woman said she felt called to help in the situation. So they took an offering among just a few women and collected $500.00

But the story didn’t end there. This sister then went to her church leaders. She told the story of this small church that was reaching the disenfranchised on the Oregon coast and the obstacle they faced with their roof. And these remarkable leaders looked at their church budget and saw that they had brought in more monetary gifts that year than they created a budget for. And so they had already sent 2/3 of this overrun to other ministries and had kept 1/3 for their own ministry. But, after hearing this story, these CHRISTIANS decided to send their third of the overrun to a little church in Astoria, Oregon that they had never been to so they could fix their roof.

Crazy thing. They didn’t just ask to pay for the re-roofing bill. Instead, last week, this small church in Oregon received a check from brothers and sisters on the east coast that they will probably never meet this side of heaven for $15,600.00.

Will the roof even cost that much? I doubt it. Maybe only 2/3 of it. But the church told them to keep whatever was leftover and use it to bless the community of Astoria by extending their ministry in it to the disenfranchised.

Wow. I don’t even know what to say. Most churches i know are so concerned about building their own little empires they don’t even consider the needs of other churches. How can we build a bigger building? What would a new HD projector cost? Would more kids be attracted to our youth ministry if we paid for a climbing wall? I mean, this church wasn’t even in their own denomination! And who would have cared whether a tiny church in rural Oregon that no one has ever heard of would have gotten a new roof?

Christians.

I gotta say, when i see people acting in sacrifice and love, in the way of Jesus . . . it makes me proud to be a Christian. You can say a lot about the people just giving themselves the label of Christian but when you encounter people branded with the life of Christ and caring more about His cause than their own agendas, it feels different and their lives leave behind a trail of impact.

So, for today, I’m a Christian. I just hope I’m one that other people are proud of too.

Rock-a-bye-baby

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I don’t think that i have ever been this tired in my whole life.

Seriously.

Tania told me last night, “it’s like we are doing a youth all-nighter event, every single night.” And, i guess she is right. I mean, i had the expectation that things would be a little crazy in the beginning. I suppose i just didn’t totally realize how much effort and normal sleeping hours go into caring for a small human life. It really wears you out. Two nights in a row i got maybe one-hour of sleep each night. And since then it has been pretty sparse too.

But, as tired as i am, there are those moments at 3:00am just after Tania has fed Paytyn while i am rocking her to sleep that i look down and see her yawn and my heart melts. There are those moments when she starts fussing and crying and i pick her up and softly call her name and she settles right down, as if she just knows the sound of her dad’s voice. There was that time that she wouldn’t sleep and i held her and started swaying and singing a quiet david crowder song to her and she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Moments that make sleep unnecessary, almost unwanted.

And it was in that last moment that i was reminded of a minor prophet in the Old Testament. Ok, possibly a little weird, but it seems i have been learning a lot about God and his relationship with me as i think about Paytyn and my relationship with her.

So anyway, in Zephaniah, God has this pecular thing that he tells His people. And what is most stark to me this morning is the context in which he says it. He says this strange thing right into the middle of what will be the darkest most painful moment of their history. A time of unsettling, crying, anguish.

What He says are the words of a dad to a child… “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

It’s as if God were Paytyn’s dad, He would take her in His arms as she cries, look over her, tell her He is there and that everything will be ok. And then He would look at her, even as she cries and strangely feel this love and delight and joy in who she is. And as she cries He, her Creator, would stoop over her and softly sing her to sleep.

I wonder how often i see God this way. I wonder how often God sees me all messed up. Crying for no reason. Not understanding why the diaper needs to be changed. Not understanding that the shirt sometimes needs to be changed even if i was comfortably asleep at the time. Not appreciating all the sleepless night and worn out hours spent taking care of every need.

And what if, in that moment that i am most oblivious and most upset, that God picks me up and rather than me singing david crowder songs to Him, he takes more delight in singing one of His songs over me.

“Quiet…Daddy is here….everything is going to be ok…rock a bye baby…”

How is it that i can love such a small thing that only sleeps, poops, eats and cries? Though she will, there is not even yet the capacity for Paytyn to yet reciprocate my love. And yet, as i sing over her during these sleepless nights, i find that i am falling in love and that it matters not whether she loves me back because i will always love her.

I think i’m starting to get how God feels about us. Either that or i’m just sleep deprived and delirious.